Twilight Barfs
by niflicious
Summary: A spoof on the ballet studio scene of Twilight. Don't read if: you puke easily or are offended easily


Twilight barfs

The room was very dark, too dark. Even though it was midday in Phoenix, Arizona the room was shadowy and reclusive. It was littered with broken mirror fragments. The floor was wooden and sleekly polished. A golden bar stretched around it. Blood speckled the floor and a fire burned, giving off a heavy scent.

Some people were in the room. Two of them were standing around the roaring fire, the red light dancing in their golden eyes. Three were kneeling around the sixth and final visible figure on the scene.

One of the people at the fallen one's side had his mouth pressed against her wrist, a thin trickle of blood seeping out from under his lips. His eyes were burning furiously with inhuman hunger…. Or thirst.

The man next to him just gave him a serene stare. But under the calm was a faint inkling of dread. He was muttering quietly, occasionally stroking his golden hair. Finally, his words became somewhat audible.

"Edward, stop." He insisted, but his voice lacked any commanding. His companion gave him a fleeting, pained glance before his wild eyes returned to the face of the girl whose blood he was drinking. She was cut and bleeding, breathing heavily and painfully.

"Stop it, now!" The golden-haired man's tone was suddenly slightly angry. His hands tightened on the younger one's tensed shoulder.

"I can't." Edward murmured vaguely, his eyes never leaving Bella's tortured face. "I'm sorry, Carlisle , but I just can't."

Carlisle gritted his teeth in frustration. He turned to look at the black-haired girl behind him.

" Alice , we have to do something." He groaned.

"But what can we do without hurting them?" Alice asked, her expression undecided.

"Find the will, Edward! Find the will." Carlisle begged. Edward looked up at him for a few seconds, but didn't say anything.

Suddenly, Bella's body convulsed. She gasped, and then threw up all over. Her vomit slowly spread, mingling with her blood. It ran down her arm. Edward quickly pulled away.

"Don't worry; I found the will. Dijon mustard! Yech!" He announced, wiping the back of his sleeve across his mouth, clearing away the puke. "Geez, blood and barf do _not _mix. Oh God, I think I'm gonna upchuck." Edward doubled over and barfed all over Carlisle .

Carlisle stared at the vomit for a few moments. Then he turned his head away and hurled all over Alice 's feet and legs.

Alice's eyes grew wide and mortified. She staggered backwards and bumped into Jasper. He turned around worriedly.

"What is it, Alice ? Are you okay?" He took her shoulders and shook her gently. "Wow, you don't look so great; you're skin's kinda green."

"Yah think?" Alice moaned before throwing up all over Jasper's front.

"Oh gross!" He roared, jumping backwards and into Emmet.

"Dude, what did you do?" Emmet laughed as he saw Jasper's puke-stained shirt. "Whoa, bro, get away from me!" Emmet started backing away, waving his hands. Too late. Jasper sprayed Emmet in barf.

"Aw, geez! Whaddya do that for!?" Emmet yelped. Then he truly took into consideration what he was covered in. He turned around and puked into the fire. It spattered James's disembodied head. The dead vampire's eyes opened.

James's head began floating in the air. It started turning around, vomit flying from its mouth. It was like a giant barf sprinkler.

Below, everybody was doing the century-old, highly ceremonial Puke Dance.

And then Azula ran in with a giant Care Bear and holding a can of Fake Cheese. And Bob Marley jumped through the windows riding a unicorn. And then America drops the Atomic Bomb all over again and that pretty much took care of the Dance Studio.

Then Grissom & Co come to investigate the crime scene. They decide that this was the job of the Miniature Killer.

Story Moral: 

CSI is awesome!!!! Avatar is awesome!!!!! Twilight is awesome!!!! I'm writing while I'm hyped up on whatever it is that I just ate!!!! I think it was half a cookie and some pizza!!!!!!!!!

**This story is not completely mine. I have collaberated with 22orchids to create this awesome masterpiece.**


End file.
